Okay, so I have a rancid personality. Nothing I'm particularly proud of, but that is me! Problem is, it is a self-perpetuating strategy that works. It isn't anything I work on consciously, but is rather a manifestation of mankind's innate "will to survive", perhaps cracked and chipped by the very complex country I live in.
I remember an English teacher of mine saying, "all that keeps humans clinging to life, is hope". He was a douchebag, but he was right. So in a country riddled with crime, poverty, ill-health (thanks for the gap in the market), idiocy & hypocrisy, there is not much hope for her citizens - well, at least not for those capable of logical thought and extrapolation.
Hope : I'm still alive... therefore I must still have it? Well, the twisted sisters of hope are pessimism & cynicism. 'Tis me also! Predict a bad outcome and there are only two possible permutations. You are not surprised (and thus not disappointed - you are entitled to proudly declare "I knew it!") or you are pleasantly surprised. Win-win situation, not so? I can really recommend it. Occasionally, I am pleasantly surprised!
It came to pass that I have started (under much duress mind you) blogging. Well done, my friends, you have managed to bring the mountain to Mohamed - thanks for creating the blogspot for me! And thanks for blowing my cover by the way. Believe it or not, I'm not being sarcastic for a change. I have found some brilliant blogs to which I have now subscribed. At first, after reading these blogs, I considered deleting my blogspot. What massive shoes to fill - they're really good! But by your persistence, I can only surmise you find my rantings amusing and "blog-worthy"...
I will continue to sharpen my tongue and dip my fingers in bile as part of my morning grooming ritual - as combing my (rapidly dwindling) hair no longer occupies much of my time, and I will humour you with more blog instalments.
Caveat Emptor :
- If you're looking to read about "shiny, happy people" you have come to the wrong place. Click on the thumbs down button & continue Stumbling.
- Despite appearances, I love my job. I feel blessed having learnt the skill to help those in desperate need, being able to reassure & calm those who are faced with their own mortality.
- Woe betide those (government, administration or health professionals & auxilliaries) who have a hand in the rendering of inferior service, for you are bound for mention here.
- I do not suffer fools. Idiots may feature here - some may be patients too. But if intentions are good, all is forgiven & I ask for forgiveness in return. :)
- This blog should be viewed as the therapeutic musings of an ever so slightly frustrated state-employed doctor trying to eke out a living in South Africa. As in life, I may come across as serious, but I am mostly taking the mickey out of a rotten situation and am chuckling inside.