02 April 2009

The Big 5

Since I am working like a dog & don't have the luxury of being close to the Kruger National Park, I have been forced to look around me & appreciate nature from the confines of the theatre walls.

I present to you - the BIG 5 à L'Afrique du Sud State Theatre...

1. Blattodea
I call this little chap Nelson. Nelson is a nice cockroach. He eats all the dirt that the cleaners shift from the middle of the floor into the corners of the theatre.
Nelson has a very large family, but they are rather camera shy. They scurry away so quickly before I can get the shot. They look just like Nelson, only some are even larger & some smaller.

2. Diptera
Meet Louis XLCIXIVII. He is from famous lineage - as in Louis THE Fly, from the advertisements that grossed the hell out of me as a child.
Well Louis has moved on from rubbish bins to theatre drapes, where he finds excellent meals in the form of laparotomies & evacs (the photo of him conquering the summit of Mons Pubis was deemed inappropriate for publishing here).
Louis is of the brazen variety. It takes a lot of "shooing" and flailing to get him to move along. But he studied at the Aboriginal School of Boomeranging, so he's back on the drapes before very long.


You probably can't see these little suckers with the naked eye, but given our statistics I can assure you they are there.
So, good to know that the sharps bin safely conceals the bevelled little bearers of the "groot griep". Pity it doesn't get disposed of more regularly.
I arrived on call with the biohazardous sharps bin looking like this. Although, I must say that I have seen worse!

4. Ascaris Lumbricoides

This is Willy the Worm. He made his appearance via a lap for stabwound abdomen of a rather uncouth, intoxicated gentleman - let's just call him Willy Warmer.
Willy Warmer told me, quite proudly that he takes drugs, drinks, smokes tobacco & dagga and is on Nevirapine (probably black market/stolen). I'm quite amazed at how resilient ascaris is, to survive despite an assault from all of the above!

(btw Willy told me to send you his regards, Bongi)

5. Anopheles
Mildred the mozzie is sitting (quite ironically) in the caution area - around 610 mmHg of this pressure bag.
I still question that HIV cannot be transmitted by mosquitoes. How do you know that this specific mozzie doesn't suffer from oesophageal reflux?
The assistant in this case (Mildred also made several guest appearances on the drapes around the open abdomen) wondered if the patient's intestines would itch post operatively... hypothetically.

But my gas-mechanic nurse was fully prepared for such invasions as is evident in the following unstaged photo. Quite tickled my fancy & scratched my itch! Wonder if this photo would pass as evidence of a theatrical (?) epidemic?

P.S. Anybody interested in being a co-author in my trial - "Tabard Nebs - an Accidental Cure for Malaria".


Karen Little said...

I would be really impressed if you could get me a piccie of the common hospital flea - although I have never laid eyes on one, they have utterly destroyed my calves and ankles, as wellas the little strip of skin just above where my jeans end.

At one of the hospitals I worked as a student registrars in the neonatology ward were made to catch some of Nelson's relatives so that the consultant could confirm her suspicions: Number 6 was living on their backs. Number 6's name is Klebsiella.

Jabulani said...

Eish, it's sooooo good to see you back again!
Despite not living in SA for 20 years, I think even my Afrikaans can cope with the HIV/Aids "groot griep" thing! I have to admit I bust a gut laughing. Now I'm probably a case for Bongi. ;)

Anonymous said...

You are just so good. Please do not stop.

anne said...

yes, please carry on with your kodak moments. I am thoroughly enjoying it! Btw I don't think that mosquitos have eosophagi with which to experience GERD--though I could be wrong. I doubt, however, that they brush their teeth between meals.

Dragonfly said...

That was hilarious....love it.

capgrass said...

i agree...........this is so good: puts pretty much all our western medicine into perspective. (i am blogging from leafy berkshire)
keep it up PLEASE!!!!!!

Eutopia said...

I've just stumbled upon your blog and I think it is absolutely awesome. I have become a HUGE fan! I think for doctors working in this country (in state hospitals) must be the toughest people on earth! Keep your sense of humour... it's probably the only thing keeping you sane!

healthy living said...

Gosh, I really hate but admire the survivorship of ascaris. They are like rats... They learn how to survive in the most severe conditions. I want to relish in the fact that mosquitoes can't transfer HIV's. If they do, what would happen to all of us?